Don't Let Me Go
by Anna De La Fere
Summary: Milady has always been a selfish person. What happens when she has to make a choice between her revenge and her husband's happiness? Read and find out.


Ninon de Larroque paced in her cell like a wild animal, clenching and unclenching her fists in a desperate attempt to remain calm. How dare she?! How dare she betray her? That woman had taken everything from her: Her reputation and respect, her house and books and now her life. Because of her she was going to die today. No chance to run or hide or beg for mercy. She was trapped in his eminence's claws, unable to free herself. Apart from that, she had failed to save poor Fleur from becoming a slave. The young girl had trusted her with all her heart, thinking she would be save in the countess' house but her hostess had ruined everything by letting a stranger in. Yes, Madame de la Chapelle or whoever she was, was a stranger. Ninon hadn't even bothered to learn more about her before letting her become one of her ladies and now she was regretting it. Oh, how she was regretting it… If it weren't her kindness, Fleur wouldn't have to get married, her girls wouldn't be in danger and she herself would spend her evenings dining with her favorite musketeer. How she wished she could turn back time when she still had a chance to avoid such dreadful set of circumstances. Perhaps she was a bit naïve at times but she wasn't fool enough to believe anyone would risk and come for her rescue, even Athos. Yes, he hadn't resisted her and even kissed her back but she had still felt something was amiss. He had kissed her softly but it hadn't been filled with love or affection. It had been an empty kiss with lack of passion and feelings. The most upsetting thing was that when he pulled away he had an expression as if he had completed one of his captain's orders. As if it had meant nothing to him but he had obeyed her silent order. Ninon still remembered that painful tug in her heart she had felt then but she had dared to hope. She dared to hope that someday she would melt his icy heart and reach beyond the walls of it. Now all her hopes were shattered. She didn't even have enough time to see the sunrise, let alone get to know Athos better. Gritting her teeth, she breathed deeply, trying not to cry out. That woman would pay. The countess didn't know how exactly she was going to get her revenge but she would…

* * *

Milady de Winter watched her husband dropping on his knees in front of the cardinal, begging him to save Ninon. She felt her heart breaking into millions of pieces in her chest, tears blurring her vision but she wiped them away angrily. He would pay for this. Of course, she knew he hated her but deep inside she was sure he loved her, too. It hurt a lot to see him fighting for another woman's life. If she had a chance, she would gladly strangle both of them with her own bare hands. How could he forget her so easily and risk everything for someone he barely knew? Milady had no right to be jealous, especially considering what she had done to Athos and his family but still she felt jealousy claiming every nook and cranny of her mind, barely refraining her from doing something unforgivable. Well, unforgivable sins were her best friends so it would be nothing new. Still she had enough common sense to understand that killing the countess would do no good to her. Just a few more hours and she would be out of her way. She just had to be a little patient. To her luck, she was good at it.

Fixing her skirts, Milady was about to leave her secret watching spot when her husband's desperate voice filled her ears.

"Please, your eminence, spare her life. She doesn't deserve this". – The trembling she sensed in his voice shook her to the core. Why did it matter to him if Ninon was alive or dead? Would it matter to him if he learnt about his own wife's death? Perhaps, it would relieve him from all his grief. Athos could get rid of her once and forever and manage to start new life. With another woman… Even the thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't picture him with anyone else. Milady had always been a selfish person. Before Athos, she had never understood why people sacrificed their own happiness for someone else's. When she met him, her life turned upside down. She became a different person. The Anne she had no idea ever existed. Every time she would sense something was bothering him, she would always find herself ready to jump in hell itself to make him smile again. She had adored his smile. Plain but beautiful, full of love and innocence. She remembered the joy she had felt whenever she could manage to turn his frown into her favorite twitch of lips. She would feel butterflies dancing in her stomach every time he looked at her, every time he smiled at her, every time his eyes shone with happiness. Anne had known she was the reason of his happiness and it had always made her proud. She had had no idea she could make anyone happy. Perhaps, she still had a chance to make him happy one last time? To redeem her crime at least partly? Despite all the hatred she felt for her husband, she still found her heart sinking in her chest at the thought of him being hurt and broken. Ninon would die but what then? Athos would never want the murderer of his brother as a wife. Not again. She would gain nothing from it. But if she died herself… It was completely another thing. It would free the world from another merciless killer. Nobody would miss her or want her alive anyway. She was tired of being the cardinal's puppet, so dying seemed to be a good way to gain some peace. If there was any peace for someone like her...

* * *

Ninon was already dozing off when she heard the sound of her cell door. Almost jumping to her feet she came face to face with her tormentor. Her face immediately turned into a tight grimace of disgust, eyes bright with hatred.

"Came to see the result of your hard work?" – The countess gritted her teeth but couldn't prevent her voice from shaking.

"If you weren't so lucky, I would definitely see it."- Milady snapped back, taking her cloak off.

"What else do you want from me?" – Ninon ignored her words, seemingly having taken them as mocking from Milady's part.

"Nothing."

"Then why are you here?"

"To save you".

"And you think I'll believe you?"

"I don't really care about that".

There was a brief pause. Both women lost in their own thoughts. Ninon observed Milady from head to toe, occasionally locking eyes with her, trying to find her hidden intentions but the other woman's eyes seemed empty, telling her absolutely nothing. Frustrated she decided to use her opportunity.

"Who is he to you?"

"I am surprised you haven't figured that out yet. I thought you were smart enough". – The cardinal's spy teased, savoring the frown on the blonde's face.

"Mind who you are talking to!" – Ninon yelled, getting furious. – "I am a countess, after all!"

"So am I!" – Milady yelled back, her hatred for the woman reaching its limit. For a moment she considered abandoning her plan and leaving her to die but managed to control herself. She was doing it for Athos. He deserved it. He definitely did.

The dark-haired woman's thoughts were interrupted by a sharp gasp. Perhaps, Ninon had finally figured everything out. Milady felt a smile of satisfaction crossing her features. She was finally showing off her right title and reputation, proving to the blonde she was matching with her.

"So you are his…" - Ninon's voice trembled with shock, unable to finished the sentence.

"Yes". – She finished for her, eyes never leaving the countess' face.

"Why didn't he tell me?" – The blonde murmured to herself.

"He doesn't like to reveal his dirty little secrets".

"What have you done to him?"- Ninon asked, still in shock.

"Nothing that may concern you". – Milady snapped, already getting annoyed. What right did she have to poke her nose in their personal matters? Now Milady really regretted her decision.

"I have the right to know!" – The blonde insisted.

"What right are you talking about? Who the hell are you to know it? Mind your own business!" – The cardinal's spy felt herself losing control. One more attempt from Ninon and she would definitely kill her then and there.

The countess sensed something in Milady's voice and decided to keep her mouth shut. It didn't matter anymore anyway. She would die very soon and everything would be over.

"We don't have much time". – The other woman's voice shook her thoughts away. – "Give me your dress and cloak".

"What?" – The blonde was astonished, looking at Milady with suspicion.

"You heard me. I won't repeat twice".

"Why do you need my clothes?"

"Just do it damn you!" – Milady hissed, fumbling with her dress. In a few minutes the women exchanged their clothes and cloaks. Milady tipped her cloak over her eyes, making sure to cover every detail of her face.

"Now go". – She ordered but Ninon stood frozen in her place.

"What?"- The countess asked in a small, astonished voice.

"God do I have to repeat everything twice? Just get out of here". – Milady rolled her eyes.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Just accept my help, I am not always so generous". –The cardinal's spy turned around to fix her dress one last time, thinking Ninon had already left when she felt something sharp hitting the back of her head, pain blurring her vision. The last thing she heard was the blonde's voice saying: "He deserves much better" before everything went black.

* * *

Athos sat on his favorite bench with a cup of wine in his hand, lost in thoughts. His brothers and Treville sat beside him, exchanging worried glances. They knew Athos cared for Ninon and Richelieu's refusal had played the final part in his suffering. Now he had no hope to save the countess.

"Athos…" – D'artagnan tried, putting a hand on his mentor's shoulder, wincing inwardly as met the swordsman's broken gaze.

"She doesn't deserve this". – Athos mumbled, lowering his head.

"I know". – D'artagnan whispered back, patting his shoulder.

"She's there, waiting for her death while I am sitting here, unable to do anything to save her".

"It's not your fault, son". – Treville mimicked D'artagnan's actions, patting athos shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"Then whose is it?!" – Athos roared, suddenly getting furious. – "If she didn't meet me none of this would happen!"

"It was god's will, Mon Ami". – Aramis whispered.

"God had no part in this". – The swordsman insisted like a child. – "It's all my fault. I bring only death to people".

"Not you. That woman does". – D'artagnan and Treville both flinched as they felt Athos' body stiffening. His fists clenched hard, heart roared in his ears as if wishing to fly out of his chest. He closed his eyes for a moment, regaining his self-control.

"Who is she?" – Porthos dared to ask as soon as the swordsman calmed down.

"The most dangerous person on earth".

"That's hardly the answer I wanted to get". – Porthos crossed his arms over his chest, looking at his brother expectantly.

"We are your brothers, Athos. We have the right to know more about you." – D'artagnan encouraged gently.

"She's my wife". – The former count blurted out after some time, looking at each of his friends, trying to see their reactions clearly.

The men remained silent for a while, astonishment clear on their faces before Treville regained his composure enough to speak.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want to bother you".

"Athos…" – It was Aramis' turn to appear beside his friend, putting a supportive arm around his slumped shoulders. – "Listen, Mon Ami, if I hear such words from your mouth ever again, you'll have to deal with my sword, got it? We are brothers, Athos. We pick each other up and fall down together if necessary. We don't keep secrets from each other. On the contrary, sharing our burden with one another helps us get better. You should have done the same. We would have listened to you and supported you. That's what friends are for".

No words could express what Athos felt at that moment. His heart swelled with pride, tears tickling his eyes. What did he do to deserve them? He had no idea but he was grateful to have the quartet in his life. He would definitely be lost without them.

"Thank you so much…" – He mumbled, patting Aramis' shoulder.

"You are welcome, brother. As for the countess, don't worry, we still have time to save her".

"I have a plan". – Porthos suggested, happy to see the life returning in Athos' eyes.

"What plan". – D'artagan, curious as he was, asked.

"We'll go to Bastille. I and Athos will kill the guards outside, put their clothes on and go inside while Aramis and D'artagnan will wait outside. Then we'll say we are there due to the cardinal's orders and must take the countess to him. Easy".

"Indeed and I like it." – Aramis smiled. – "What do you say, gentlemen?"

"I agree as long as it doesn't get us hanged". – D'artagnan agreed.

"I am with you". – Athos agreed, as well.

"I'd really love to come, gentlemen but…" – Treville started but Porthos cut him off.

"It's fine, captain. You stay here and take care of the Garrison. We'll manage everything".

"I don't doubt it". –Treville said, pride evident in his voice.

Suddenly their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a horse's hooves. A few moments later they saw someone entering the Garrison, face covered with a cloak. No one was sure but from the size and color of the cloak Aramis figured out it was a woman. She was trembling and shaking, unable to find her voice, let alone get off of the horse.

"Mademoiselle, are you all right?" – The marksman hurried to help her dismount. She trembled in his arms, heart thudding fast in her chest. Aramis set her on their bench, pouring her a glass of wine. As soon as the woman drank it, the color returned to her cheeks and she finally managed to speak.

"Help me". – She whispered, her voice barely audible but Athos recognized it, letting out a sigh of relief. She was alive. She was unharmed.

"Countess? How did you manage to get out?" – He asked, sitting beside her, ignoring his friends' shocked faces.

"It doesn't matter. Can you help me leave Paris? The cardinal's men will be after me soon. I need to go before they find me".

"Of course, we'll do everything we can". – Porthos assured.

"Oh, and Monsieur Aramis, here's your crucifix". – She said handing him the object. – "May it bring you as much luck as it brought me".

"Thank you, countess". – The marksman smiled warmly. – "Shall we go?"

Nodding she stood up and went to her horse. Athos hurried to help her. She gave him a wide smile before taking hold of the reins and several minutes later they set off.

* * *

"So this is goodbye". – Ninon said sadly when they reached their destination and she was left alone with Athos.

"I guess it is". – He nodded but his voice held no sadness.

"Why don't you come with me? So what if we aren't fond of marriages? We still can start new life and find our happiness at last". – She offered.

"I can't".

"Why?"

"I have to do my duty".

"Oh, Athos…" – The blonde sighed, moving to kiss him but he gently pushed her away, trying not to pay attention to her stunned expression.

"I told you, I can't".

"It's not only about France, is it?" – She asked, a bitter smile playing on her lips.

Athos sighed and lowered his head, not answering her.

"Then what is it, Athos? Why don't you want to come with me? What's stopping you?" – When he didn't answer, she stepped forward to cup his face but rejected her again, still not making a sound.

"Tell me, what is it?" – She asked once again, this time he could tell she was demanding answers. Well, if that was what she wanted…

"It's not you I am in love with!" – He yelled, completely forgetting his friends were somewhere nearby, waiting for them to finish their private conversation.

"It's all because of her, isn't it?" – She asked, feeling hurt than ever. Even when that woman was dying, she still managed to take him away from her. No, she would never let her do that.

Athos paled as a sheet, realizing her rescue had something to do with Milady. Did Ninon hurt her. If he weren't so nervous right now, he would have laughed even at the thought of anyone being able to harm his merciless wife. Whatever it was he had to find everything out.

"What did you do to her?" – He whispered, anger claiming his mind, making him ready to strangle her with his bare hands. Ninon didn't answer him.

"Did you hurt her?!" – He growled, wishing to kill her right then and there.

"Why do you care if she's alive or dead?" – She asked, unable to comprehend the reason of his anger.

"What did you do to her damn you?!" – Athos roared, hands closing around the blonde's throat, suffocating her. Thank god his friends heard him and came for her rescue.

"Athos, what are you doing? Let her go!" – Porthos ran to his friend, trying to pry his hands off of her. To his surprise, Athos held her in a very tight grip.

"Athos, Mon Ami, please, let her go". – Aramis asked gently, wondering what had gotten into the swordsman.

"She harmed her and now she'll pay for it". – Athos said in a quiet yet dangerous voice. They all froze, knowing he wasn't joking.

"Who?" – D'artagnan asked eventually.

"She harmed my wife". – The former count gritted his teeth tightening his hold on her throat.

"What did you do to her?" – Porthos asked, looking at Ninon who didn't answer.

"Where is she?" –Athos looked at her. The blonde shivered as she saw his eyes getting wild with fury.

"She came to rescue me. We exchanged our dresses and cloaks and now she's in my cell, waiting for death or probably dead".

They had about a second to brace themselves for the sound that came out of Athos' throat. He let her go harshly and ran to his horse, urging it forward as fast as he could, heading for Paris.

* * *

Milady de Winter stared at the ceiling, lost in thoughts. Ninon would already be safe, tucked in Athos' warm arms, sobbing and complaining in his chest, creating a wonderful tale about her miraculous escape. She found it disgusting but she didn't regret it. It was for Athos' own good. He would finally get rid of his dark past and live like a normal person. One of them deserved to be happy and she wanted it to be her beloved husband. Soon after her encounter with the countess, she came to conclusion that she didn't hate Athos at all. She just couldn't. Well, how could she when he was the one who gifted her the best months of her life. She would definitely remain soulless for the rest of her life without him.

"Time to go". – She heard someone's voice, raising to her feet automatically. That was it. Now she would die with no one to support her. Athos probably had no idea she was dying and wouldn't care even if he knew about it. She was miserable, abandoned and forgotten by everyone. After saying "yes" to Athos' marriage proposal, this was probably the second wisest decision she had ever made. And she would face the consequences of it bravely, without shedding a tear or letting anyone see her suffering. She deserved and she would get it.

* * *

Athos urged his horse forward, almost killing the poor animal. By the time he reached Paris it was already late afternoon. The sky was grey but cloudless, promising nothing at all. As he neared his destination, a strong smell of smoke tickled his nose, making shivers run through his spine. He prayed to god he no longer believed in to save her. To let him save her. He couldn't lose her again. He couldn't let her go again. He would rescue her, give her a chance to explain why she killed his brother, what he did to her and then they would start anew. Athos knew it seemed disgusting to love her after everything but he couldn't help it. If he had to give his heart to someone, he preferred it to be his beloved Anne. Oh, he had forgotten how well her name sounded on his tongue, how he longed to say it again and have its owner in his arms, safe and sound and happy, all his and no one else's. Now he had a chance and wouldn't miss it. Not by any measure.

"Anne". – He couldn't help but whisper, seeing her gagged and helpless, fire getting close to her feet. She stood with her head held high, tears shining in her emerald eyes but she wasn't crying. Her head turned towards him for a moment, their eyes locking together. Milady couldn't believe it. No, she didn't want to believe he was there. He couldn't be. It was all her imagination. She was dying, so her mind was imagining the best kind of heaven possible. Oh, how she wished she could run into his inviting arms and forget all her problems. No Milady, no cardinal, no France, no Thomas, no world… Just the two of them. Them and their undying love. Sadly, it was impossible and she knew it.

She was already losing her senses when she felt someone's soft hands tugging at her ropes desperately. Then she heard the sound of metal. Was someone trying to stab her? But why? She was already dying, why bother taking such risk? Wait a second, someone was cutting the ropes, freeing her. Milady could vaguely make out that person's tall and slender form, wild eyes brimming with tears, hands trembling as he attempted to take her in his arms. She fell in them willingly, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, burying her head in the crook of it, letting out a sigh of relief. It was her Athos. Her husband and the love of her life. She wasn't imagining anything. He really came for her. Now everything would be all right. She was sure of it.

Athos freed her from the ropes, mounted her on his horse and took her away from everything, ignoring his approaching brothers and people's shocked faces when they realized it was the wrong person. Milady was still shocked, hardly making a sound, just looking at him as if he were a ghost. Well, he really looked like one with his extremely pale face and bloodshot eyes but he was still beautiful. So beautiful that it took her breath away. He was hers and no one else's. She would make sure of it.

They dismounted near a large tree, taking a break. Athos knew she was tired and needed some time to compose herself, so he watched her silently without disturbing.

Meanwhile Milady was busy musing about the day's events. Was her decision wrong? Was it wrong to want to make someone you love happy? If he let her die, she would no longer be his burden. He would start new life with Ninon and forget everything at once or would he? It wasn't easy to forget someone who killed your brother a few years ago. She could hardly blame him if he still hated her after her death but deep inside she wanted him to forgive her or at least listen to her and let her explain. It would free her from her grief and she would finally gain some peace if she was still able to do that.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Athos' lips. He bent his head down and kissed her passionately, almost crushing her in his arms. Her hands moved to caress his locks, pulling him closer. She had missed him. She had missed him so much she couldn't express it with words. How did she manage to live without him for five years? She had no idea. Now it was over. Her suffering was over. They were meant to be together and they would be. Nothing could get in their way.

"I am so sorry". – He whispered against her lips, cupping her cheeks. She didn't know if he was apologizing for not believing her, for hanging her or for Ninon's actions. Perhaps, for everything. She didn't really care about that right now. She was done trying to punish him, hurt him and kill him. It was time to forgive and forget and that's what she intended to do.

"I am the one who should apologize". – She said silently, caressing the side of his face. He leaned into her hand, pressing a kiss on her palm.

"No, if I had listened to you then, nothing like this would have happened".

"And if I hadn't…" – Her voice died in her throat as tears started gathering in her eyes. Athos reached out to wipe them away gently, kissing her eyes.

"It's all right, my love, everything is over. You don't have to think about anything right now. Let's go home".

"Wait, where's Ninon?"

Milady's eyes widened upon sensing the way his body tensed. It felt like he was shaking with something. Fear? Guilt? Shame? She couldn't tell but she needed to know.

"Where is she? Is she all right?" – She asked again.

"Why?" – He answered with a question, as well. – "Why did you do that?"

Milady's heart ached when she heard the crack in his voice. Did he really care about her? Was he mad at her for making such decision?

"I…" – She started but didn't know how to continue. What could she tell him? That she did this to free him from his guilt? Would he understand her? Would he still love her? Her head was spinning with questions and the only way to get answers was to speak.

"I wanted to make you happy". – She mumbled finally, avoiding his eyes.

"By dying? And you thought your death would make me happy?" – Athos nearly yelled, grabbing her shoulders. She didn't even wince at the pressure. Just stared at him.

"It would free you from me". – She explained. – "You'd finally be able to be happy with someone you love".

"What? You thought I…" – Athos whispered, looking at her disbelievingly.

"Don't you love her? You seemed so worried about her".

"I do care about her but the only woman I have ever loved is you". – He admitted silently, looking at her fondly.

Milady stared into his ocean blue eyes, letting herself get lost in them. He looked so much like her old Athos. Soft and sweet and caring, expressing his love plainly but with all his heart. She loved him so much for his sincerity…

"You love me?" – She asked, not believing her ears.

"More than anything". – He said, kissing her forehead. She sighed, leaning into his chest.

"When I learnt everything", - He said, caressing her hair, - "I was so furious that I nearly choked her". – He regretted immediately upon sensing her body stiffening against his.

"You didn't have to do that. She deserves to be alive. More than me". – She sighed, closing her eyes.

"But she left you to die". – He spat.

"I was the one who put her in this mess. I deserved it".

"It doesn't matter. You were trying to save her life. She had to take you with her. You two had to escape together. That would be the only fair decision".

"Would it?" – She looked up, wanting to see his reaction.

"definitely". – He murmured, kissing her softly.

"Athos?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Don't let me go".

"Never".

THE END.

* * *

**A/N: Hello dear readers! It's been a while since I published my last story but now I'll try to gain your forgiveness with the help of this one. It's a birthday gift for my dear friend Lazy Imagination. Happy Birthday honey wish you all the best 3 Anyway enjoy reading and don't forget to leave reviews as your opinion means a lot to me :)**


End file.
